30 days of thankfulness?! Ok fine…

Day 1: I’m thankful of my unlimited data plan

 

Day 2: I’m thankful for two ply toilet paper

 

Day 3: I’m thankful for the inventor of yoga pants

 

Day 4: I’m thankful for the wheel

 

Day 5: I’m thankful for the Internet… And by Internet I mean porn, that’s right I’m thankful for porn

 

Day 6: I’m thankful for the tube sock and its many, many uses

 

Day 7: I’m thankful for Brett Farve, and all the Republicans that are in a bad mood today

 

Day 8: I’m thankful I don’t bleed once a month

 

Day 9: I am thankful there is only 21 more days of this sh*t, so I can go back to being thankful for what really matters: football, beer and hatin on bitches

#youknowwhatimsay’n

#comeatmebro

#ibetUthinkthisstatusisaboutU

 

Day 10: I’m thankful god created public transportation… You feel bad about yourself trust me get on the bus

 

Day 11: I’m thankful for Taco Bell , and all the thinking/Angry Birds time it gives me I feel truly blessed

 

Day 12: I’m thankful for sweatpants, the only acceptable way to wear a blanket in public for your balls

 

Day 13:  Gas station food! Thank you Tawfiq and your nacho cheese covered chilli dogs at 3am, 711 is the only place I’ve had a home cooked meal in months.

 

Day 14: I am thankful I’m not a small minded fucktard… I just wanted to use the word “fucktard”

 

Day 15: I’m thankful Im the superior sex

 

Day 16: I am thankful for 2nd hand smoke. That’s right anytime I’m around any uptight sometimes bible thumping jerkoff I just light up! It’s like passive aggressive mace…

 

Day 18: I am thankful I skipped day 17 of 30 days of thankfulness

 

Day 19: I am thankful I’m not vegan. That would be horrible to not be able to put a thick juicy succulent piece of meat in your mouth

 

Day 20: I am thankful for auto correct. Because public schools didn’t make me look like a big enough dumb fuck! BTW anyone else using cursive when writing their pin pals?! PS damn you grades 3-6 did you not see the smart phone coming?!

 

Day 21: I am thankful my grandparents passed away years ago, and I don’t have to spend tomorrow with them! Just cause your old doesn’t mean I got to love ya, you racist, Ignorant miserable bastards! And what was with that shitty hard candy?! You can’t spring for a pack of M&Ms old man?!?! Too much?! What?! At least I’m thankful…

 

Day 22: I am thankful the white man Raped, stole and pillaged so that I can unnecessarily stuff my face and hang out with a bunch of people I don’t like… What is this thing sponsored by Mc Donald’s?!

 

Day 23: I am thankful for the tramp stamp… I like to have a place to aim

 

Day 24: I am thankful for my left hand, righty’s kinda ah slut

 

Day 25: I am thankful for social media… talking to people in real life is exhausting

 

Day 26: I am thankful for the burrito! Mexicans are crafty!!!

 

No mood for people today…And I’m not thankful for shit!!! BAM Day 27: Shit just got real

 

Day 28: I’m thankful I don’t own a vagina (not a real one anyway) first off I would get nothing done ever, second those things are complicated I can’t even change my own oil…

 

Day 29: I’m thankful for the TV show Airwolf taught me everything I needed to know about life…

 

Day 30 I am thankful for all the support… That’s right… Spoiler alert its all about me #shocking

 

Day 31:I am thankful I’m not one of those just 30 day quitters like the rest of you…