30 days of thankfulness?! Ok fine…

Day 1: I’m thankful of my unlimited data plan


Day 2: I’m thankful for two ply toilet paper


Day 3: I’m thankful for the inventor of yoga pants


Day 4: I’m thankful for the wheel


Day 5: I’m thankful for the Internet… And by Internet I mean porn, that’s right I’m thankful for porn


Day 6: I’m thankful for the tube sock and its many, many uses


Day 7: I’m thankful for Brett Farve, and all the Republicans that are in a bad mood today


Day 8: I’m thankful I don’t bleed once a month


Day 9: I am thankful there is only 21 more days of this sh*t, so I can go back to being thankful for what really matters: football, beer and hatin on bitches





Day 10: I’m thankful god created public transportation… You feel bad about yourself trust me get on the bus


Day 11: I’m thankful for Taco Bell , and all the thinking/Angry Birds time it gives me I feel truly blessed


Day 12: I’m thankful for sweatpants, the only acceptable way to wear a blanket in public for your balls


Day 13:  Gas station food! Thank you Tawfiq and your nacho cheese covered chilli dogs at 3am, 711 is the only place I’ve had a home cooked meal in months.


Day 14: I am thankful I’m not a small minded fucktard… I just wanted to use the word “fucktard”


Day 15: I’m thankful Im the superior sex


Day 16: I am thankful for 2nd hand smoke. That’s right anytime I’m around any uptight sometimes bible thumping jerkoff I just light up! It’s like passive aggressive mace…


Day 18: I am thankful I skipped day 17 of 30 days of thankfulness


Day 19: I am thankful I’m not vegan. That would be horrible to not be able to put a thick juicy succulent piece of meat in your mouth


Day 20: I am thankful for auto correct. Because public schools didn’t make me look like a big enough dumb fuck! BTW anyone else using cursive when writing their pin pals?! PS damn you grades 3-6 did you not see the smart phone coming?!


Day 21: I am thankful my grandparents passed away years ago, and I don’t have to spend tomorrow with them! Just cause your old doesn’t mean I got to love ya, you racist, Ignorant miserable bastards! And what was with that shitty hard candy?! You can’t spring for a pack of M&Ms old man?!?! Too much?! What?! At least I’m thankful…


Day 22: I am thankful the white man Raped, stole and pillaged so that I can unnecessarily stuff my face and hang out with a bunch of people I don’t like… What is this thing sponsored by Mc Donald’s?!


Day 23: I am thankful for the tramp stamp… I like to have a place to aim


Day 24: I am thankful for my left hand, righty’s kinda ah slut


Day 25: I am thankful for social media… talking to people in real life is exhausting


Day 26: I am thankful for the burrito! Mexicans are crafty!!!


No mood for people today…And I’m not thankful for shit!!! BAM Day 27: Shit just got real


Day 28: I’m thankful I don’t own a vagina (not a real one anyway) first off I would get nothing done ever, second those things are complicated I can’t even change my own oil…


Day 29: I’m thankful for the TV show Airwolf taught me everything I needed to know about life…


Day 30 I am thankful for all the support… That’s right… Spoiler alert its all about me #shocking


Day 31:I am thankful I’m not one of those just 30 day quitters like the rest of you…